'Digga' has been prodding and poking his overly large nose in and around the recycling bins behind the back of the Main Stand where Peter Trembling's office is located and can exclusively reveal the true meaning of Munto Finance and just how Notts County paid off half of their HMRC tax bill.
The answer is not an obvious one to the unsuspecting eye. Drugs. Suspicions were raised when Sven took the Mexican national team job and even more so when he arrived at East Midlands Airport one morning in July. But there was a link unbeknown to the mass population; Munto Finance. Munto Finance stands for nothing other than Marijuana; Under Nines Team Operation. Digga dug deeper and more ferociously than ever and managed to hack into Sven's Blackberry via telekinesis and pulled out a blueprint made on Paint. The blueprint contained maps of various alleyways and escape routes of the surrounding Meadows and St Anns area and an order number for Ikea's finest D.I.Y BMX's.
Munto Finance's only purchase in their time at Notts County was "Pitch Heating Lights" which were claimed to "help defrost grass" and "aid Notts County's plight in beating the cold weather" - Notts County had to postpone home games against Grimsby, Barnet and Forest Green Rovers. The only things these lights were good for were growing industrial amounts of Cannabis.
'Digga' then pursued former Notts County prodigy Mark Draper who has been given the job title of 'Kit Man'. Draper refused to comment on any of these allegations but was seen giving a parcel to youth team starlet Juan Martinez (a new signing from Bolivia) who questioned Draper "are they dry enough yet?" to which Draper replied with a swift backhand and ushered the young man away.
Notts County's ex manager Ian McParland nickname 'Charlie' because of his minor cocaine operation was knocked off by Tord Grip in October after Sven had given his assistant the nod. The reason Sven gave for this move was that "they were not working closely enough together" which one would presume means Charlie was dealing with rival gangs across the river known as Nottingham Forest. Named after their once huge Cannabis operation; their grow patch was rumoured to be visible from space.
Will the next crop be ready in time for the next HMRC hearing? Will ten-bags be enough to save Notts County from administration? We will see.
This article may be factually inaccurate.
Custom Search